Thursday, May 13, 2010

Be Ruthless With Yourself

I seek pardon from you friends and visitors of Think SUCCEEDED for not writing anything since May 7 except updating Motivational Quotes, for two reasons.  First,  I have had some personal challenges to counter and settle.  Second, a couple of acquaintances needed some pep-talk to overcome, rather conquer, their depression.  My heart and soul bow down, in total humility, to The Almighty for giving me an opportunity, strength and timely understanding to help them get out of the quagmire of negative thinking, self pity and pessimism.

Being able to rescue someone from the tentacles of suicidal depression is so gratifying that you have the feelings of rebirth for your own self.  It makes the chords of your heart and soul move to the tune of heavenly symphony.  The truth is it simply cannot be explained through words.

Sometimes, it is so disheartening to see a young man of 25, well educated and admirably good looking, bent upon destroying his own life and others' too simply for not having the strength to face challenges of daily life.

I met one such guy last weekend.  He had been threatening his parent, for some time, to commit suicide for no apparent reason.  The whole family was badly disturbed and concerned about him.  Everybody in his family, parents, sisters, brothers, cousins, tried to learn the reasons, but to no avail.

Some thought he might have had a love affair and there could be problems with the gal.  His parents assumed that he had difficulties in getting along with his employers.  They all tried their best to pacify him and persuaded to share his problem with them both collectively and individually.  

When a friend invited me to have a little pep-talk with the guy, I put my hand on his shoulder after initial handshaking and straightly asked him to help me find a shop where I could have a glass of fresh apple-milk shake and got him out of his house.  While he was driving to a nearby market, I asked him to stop by a small public park.  He looked puzzled and a quizzical expression on his face demanded a cogent reason for that.

I told him I wanted to have some fresh air in the peaceful atmosphere of the park.  It was around 9:30 p.m.  

We stayed there till 11:00 p.m. and had a lot of talk about trivialities of life. My sole purpose was to detach him from the people, his family indeed, who were less interested in learning his real challenges that were disturbing him.  Their main emphasis was on making him agree to the opinion of each one of them.  That was a fatal mistake.

I came to know that he had no core issue that was playing havoc with his emotions, feelings, thinking and behaviour.  He was simply overwhelmed with unfocused thoughts, overload of small tasks in the office without getting any help from colleagues, traffic problems like extremely disturbing noises of vehicles, especially the three-wheelers locally called 'ching chee', smoke and dust pollution and an incessant series of SMS messages that always kept his mobile phone's memory full.  I did my best to dig out if he had a love-affair that he bluntly and repeatedly denied. 

It was not difficult for me to grasp the intensity of torture that he was trying hard to bear.  He was seriously thinking about quitting his job because his parents could not afford to give him a car and motorcycle riding on the overcrowded roads was taking its toll.  

This is the tragedy of our society.  The double standards by the rulers.  The nasty three-wheeler is not allowed in the posh areas like Defense Housing Society, Government Officers' Residences and like that.  The rest of the city is on the mercy of the drivers of these sonic-boom breakers that also emit smoke that radiates the most dangerous and poisonous toxins in the air.  

The so-called democratic rulers cannot even imagine the lethal effects of such a noise and smoke pollution damaging the health of middle class that is the real back bone of any society.

The tempting packages offered by the mobile phone services providers are causing an unimaginable damage to our society encouraging young men and women to indulge in indecent chats, message spamming, wrong calls and a never ending series of religious messages which are educational and informative but not if they block the memory of your mobile phone.

Both the federal and provincial governments should take notice of these problems that common man faces every moment of every day.

Note :  The guy I talked about is now using ear-plugs, a mask and helmet, has changed his route for going to and returning from office and has started a blog about his personal musings.

My key advice to him was ' be ruthless with yourself, with circumstances and with your fate and whenever indispensably necessary, also with obdurate people '.  

Being ruthless with yourself does not mean to adopt a negative attitude towards things and affairs of life.  It means never to allow yourself to fall victim to self-pity, complacent mind-set and weakened state of mind.  The Almighty God has clearly said that He does not overburden any person with an unbearable load.  The verse of the holy Quran describing the above assurance from God has strengthened my belief that whatever the circumstances are, provided I do not commit a blunder myself, He is always on my side desiring and demanding me to make full use of my energies, potentials and inner strengths.

So, my friends, be ruthless with yourself.

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