Thursday, July 22, 2010

Tips For Dealing With Rebellious Teens

By Nicole Mayer

Teenagers in general go through some tough times, which is simply a part of transitioning from a child to an adult. Even teens that perform great in school, never come home late, stay involved with school activities, and have amazing friends will have tough periods. However, for parents of rebellious teens, it seems as if the world is ending. Struggling teens are going through extreme hormonal changes, dealing with peer pressure, and trying to establish their own identity, opinions, and thoughts on top of the transition.

Interestingly, while most parents think that rebellious teens do not listen, could care less what is being said, and sometimes may not even love them, the truth is that troubled teens are actually looking for reassurance, support, encouragement, guidance, and even discipline. Some struggling teens become so bold with decisions that they find themselves in uncomfortable and even dangerous situations while having no clue how to get out. Therefore, parents should step in to provide the teenager with a sense of comfort in that they do not have to be in control or make adult decisions just yet.

With the right type of parental help, rebellious teens can get through the tough years easier. Some parents make the mistake of thinking that once the kids become teenagers, they can be friends, setting the parent/child relationship on the back burner. However, at this time more than any other in life, the teenager needs a parent, not a friend. When parents try to be friends with struggling teens, there is a sense of no one being in control, making the rebellious teen feel insecure and even unloved.

Of course, rebellious teens may not always show appreciation but parents need to understand some of the acting out is merely for show. On the other hand, some rebellious teens are crying out for help because they are struggling with something major. In this case, the teenager may have been molested or raped, be involved with drugs or alcohol, or become caught up with a bad group of friends. For parenting help, a number of things can be done that makes it easier and more effective when dealing with a rebellious teen, which could include intervention or rehabilitation in severe cases.
  • Failures - Many struggling teens fear the parents will be angry, disappointed, or unforgiving when they fail. Teens need to be provided with reassurance that everyone fails. Additionally, the teenager needs to know the parents forgive and love them unconditionally. With this comes an opportunity to provide parental help through communication and guidance.
  • Listening - Another mistake that parents make is not listening to a rebellious teen. Instead, parents are too busy counseling, criticizing, and questioning, which is a shame because a huge opportunity to get inside the teen's mind and heart is being missed. This means parents do not understand what things the rebellious teen is facing so the right parental help could be provided. 
  • Boundaries - As mentioned, while most rebellious teens swear they want more freedom, the truth is they need set boundaries. The key is allowing the teenager enough room to fail, which is how he or she will learn but setting enough restrictions to keep the teen safe. 
  • Decisions - By the time a child becomes a teenager, it is imperative that parents start letting him or her make decisions. When dealing with rebellious teens, this would start out small and over time progress. By giving struggling teens room to grow and mature they actually respect the parents more, which begins to create a stronger bond while diminishing anger. 
  • Praise - Finally, even though rebellious teens may do numerous things wrong, rather than always focus on failures or mistakes, parents need to praise them for the actions and decisions they do right. This type of "reverse psychology" provides parenting help that shows the teenager attention can be obtained by doing good things, not bad.
Nicole has been a active author online for many years. Not only does this author specialize in Affiliate Marketing she also has a passion in diet, computers and helping troubled teens. You can also check out her latest website Camps for Troubled Youth at which explains what you as a parent should expect out of Military Schools along with information on camps for teens.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for the tips you have shared. But allow me also to share how I dealt with my rebellious teens. My son and daughter where too rebellious that they disobey me all the time I have been doing the best I can and still didn’t work. But one day as I surfed the net I read about a military school and I sent them in that school. When they got home after a year or two, I observed that they were different, they were better than before.