Saturday, January 4, 2014

DEPRESSION

A Letter To My Younger Self – 

The Climb to Escape Depression

Dear Younger Me,
This letter will not be any easier for me to write than it will be for you to read. I know things aren’t easy. Actually, let’s be honest, things just outright suck right now. It’s not your fault that things suck, conditions are terrible after all.
But it is your fault that things aren’t getting better.
I’m not the type to flutter words around like a butterfly for the sake of padding my message. So, let’s be honest; you’re doing nothing, nothing at all to get out of the hole you are stuck in. You see this hole. You look up and the sky can be faintly seen at the end of what looks like a nearly endless climb. It looks impossible, but I promise, it’s not.
Right now you are in this hole. It’s a wet, soggy pit of darkness. The sadness and the anger are overwhelming and top it all off you’re alone. The thing is; you built this hole. You dug it for yourself; to protect yourself. Things were bad for years and seemingly the only escape was to hide. To isolate. To dig. And so you did; you dug, and dug, and dug, and dug. But now there is no easy way out.
In fact, you don’t even want to leave the hole. It’s been over a year now and you are getting used to the hole. It’s comfortable. You stop remembering life before the hole because that is what put you here in the first place. The good memories fade as well; you don’t need them in this hole. All you can focus on is how bad the situation is and how much you want to get out. But you are afraid to admit that you want to get out. Almost ashamed. The fear of leaving the hole; of the difficulties escaping will be, and the alien nature of the world beyond is stopping you from doing anything.
I tell you with point-blank honesty that if you stay in this hole you will not survive long.
I’ve taken a lot of questionable paths in my life. I’ve done a lot of questionable things; things that many people would take back. If I could take back my actions, would I? No, because ultimately these actions, however drastic and questionable, led me back from the darkness. I do not think that without taking the actions I did, I could be as alive and happy as I am today.
I dare you to prove me wrong.
If you do not start climbing you will never get out of this hole. Ironically, you bear a greater burden by staying in the hole than you would on the climb out, yet you stay in the hole for fear of the climb. Fear of recovery.
Listen, the world is unknown, it is unpredictable, and it is scary…but it is also wonderful. I will not waste words on the happy crap that I know you don’t want to hear and will not listen to. But I will say that you cannot truly judge something unless you look at it from the other point of view.
The other thing I have to say is that you don’t always have to climb. You can take breaks – dig horizontally. I can promise you that there are many people in holes all around you. They would love to not make this climb alone, and it will be far easier for you to climb if someone has your back.
As my parting words of wisdom I will say; don’t be idle. The world will continue moving no matter how long you shut it out for, and in the end it will be way too far ahead. Keep moving, stay strong, and don’t give up. We both know you’re a tough fellow; now is the time to prove it.

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